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Synopsis

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»» Taiwan

A man typically neglects to send his girlfriend text messages when he's busy or when he has no doubt that she loves him. The girlfriend becomes insecure and resentful when she waits too long for his messages. She tries to put his love to the test, and as a result sometimes drives him away. This is an all-too-common scenario.
Most of the relationship problems related to mobile phone text messaging have their roots in the difference between men's and women's attitudes toward it.
It's hard for men to compose a non-business message, while it's a breeze for women. Women try to measure love with text message frequency, but for men the frequency is nothing to do with how important the person is to them. Unlike women, men by nature can only do one thing at a time. That's why they can't send messages when they need to concentrate on something else. Women consider that replying to messages is a common courtesy, but that's not the way men think. Women are good at reading someone's mind, while men fail to see the real meanings behind words. Unlike women, men generally try to hide their emotions. Men like to give practical advice, while women try to be good listeners. Sharing emotions is common among women, but men can't take emotional outbursts well.
This book describes male and female mentalities as they affect mobile phone text messaging. Throughout the book, the author tells women not to worry if they are receiving fewer messages and not to do anything rash that they may later regret. For men, he advises being a bit more considerate of women's feelings.

Category Level

Self-Help
Family/Relationships

Editorial Review

Mobile phone text messaging plays a significant part in young people's love affairs in Japan. Living together before marriage is still somewhat frowned on in Japan, and the same goes for sleepovers. And long commutes between home and office reduce the time that lovers can spend together. That's why they rely so much on text messaging.
Text messages are convenient because they can be sent anytime, even when two-way dialog isn't possible.. But this feature often backfires: if a man gets lax about sending or answering messages, his girlfriend can start to doubt if he still loves her.
The best remedy for this is to learn how the mentality of the opposite sex works - an approach similar to John Gray's "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus."
Though aimed largely at unmarried women, Hayato Oda's book is useful for all men and women in relationships - including married couples! - because the bottom line is that understanding and respecting each other is good for any relationship.
Entertaining elements such as the Personality Test and amusing illustrations, including four-panel cartoon strips, help keep reader interest high.

Submitted by Akiko Kunita

Table of contents

• Personality Test �\ What's Your Type?
  1. He Neglects to Send You Text Messages
  2. Text Messaging Frequency
  3. He's Sending Fewer Messages Lately
  4. Don't Put Love to the Test
  5. Sending a Message to a Busy Boyfriend
  6. Messages Long Overdue
  7. He Doesn't Get It
  8. When He's Feeling Down
  9. What to Expect from Text Messaging
  10. Dull Messages?
  11. There's No Point in Grumbling!
  12. Men Are More Vulnerable
  13. All You Need to Know is That Men and Women Are Different

About the Author

Hayato Oda is a relationship consultant specializing in male and female mentalities. He educates people in the psychological differences between men and women, in the hope that it will reduce the misunderstandings between sexes and bring more peace to relationships.
Oda operates the "Psychological Difference between Men and Women" website (http://homepage2.nifty.com/oda999/). He also distributes his e-zine to 25,000 readers.